Finding Love in Improv
The Francis Brown’s: Marriage & Mayhem
Illustration by Christopher Jewels-Booth
I’m not saying that you’ll find love in an improv class. But I did!
Here’s how it all went down:
I started teaching at The People’s Improv Theater January 2017, which was one of the most important professional validations I’d ever received. The opportunity to join the ranks of teachers I respected, admired, and tried to emulate meant that I wasn’t just posing as an improviser anymore. I was being told that (in an official capacity) i was worthy of acceptance. I was now “one of us”, but in a way that proved wrong all of the naysayers in my life.
But being hired in the midst of the Me Too era meant that we needed to hold ourselves more accountable than previously had been the norm. This meant that even seemingly harmless interactions needed to be kept in check. Everything from one-on-one hangouts at the bar, to private messaging, to personal meetups needed to be highly scrutinized and in most cases shut down. Many of these interactions ended up leading to more inappropriate dynamics that complicated one’s own journey through improv, and as a result, we, the teaching staff, underwent multiple training and counseling sessions to be more cognizant of these situations, as well as being held to a higher standard of conduct which would emphatically result in immediate termination of employment if found wading through murky waters.
So, needless to say, I wasn’t about to even REMOTELY engage in any kind of interaction that could be interpreted as inappropriate. I had paid my dues and come too far to allow this opportunity to be spoiled by a momentary selfish desire. I kept my wits about me, watched what kind of language I chose, and (for the most part) dated outside of New York City.
On stage at The People’s Improv Theater
The cast of Fury: Earth’s Mightiest Improv
I met Kim March 21st, 2019 when she walked into my Level 0 improv class at The PIT. She cautiously walked into class where I met her with a handshake and a question, “How many holes do you have in your jeans?” This immediately led to her dropping her guard, opening up, and being receptive to the spirit of improvisation.
The weeks continued, and Kim’s enrollment from Level 0 turned into Level 1, again taught by yours truly. It was this Level 1 class where Kim really found her stride. This specific group of people is really what transformed her from a person doing improv into an improviser. Her comfort level increased from week to week as did her skills and confidence, due largely in part to the aforementioned dynamic of people. Friendships blossomed, and real trust amongst the group was emerging. Kim became an anchor in that class who embodied the love for learning the craft, (and learning it well!)
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Look, I’m no dummy. I knew we had a connection that was more than just “hey I like you”. There was an intuitive nature about how we perceived each other. It was almost like we were always on the same page with each other, and intrinsically “got” what the other was emitting. Sometimes in class, all we had to do was give each other a “Jim & Pam” kind of look, and understood each other instantaneously. This was a connection I hadn’t ever experienced with another human. But I also wasn’t about to risk my job & reputation on something I had no way of knowing was going to be forever. So I kept Kim at arm’s length. At least, for a little while.
Each week in class I would start by asking if anyone had seen any improv shows since our previous class. This started a chain reaction of people organizing texting groups to go see shows together, and after one such show where I also happened to be in attendance, I found myself in a social circle with Kim, another classmate, and a few friends. The question was eventually, but casually, posed regarding my relationship status. Knowing the stakes & propriety of the situation, I responded truthfully: I was interested in seeing a woman in Utah whom I had met during an improv show we had both played in together. I could feel Kim’s disappointment in this reply, but knew that it was the right thing to do. I hadn’t wanted to encourage something that could possibly come back to hurt me, or even worse: discourage Kim from continuing on with her own discovery of this amazing art form.
Fast forward to the Level 1 Graduation Show!
June 13th, 2019
Level 1 Grad Show, Backstage in the Green Room (also, the first known photograph of Kim & Mike together)
The show was amazing and everyone improvised their hearts out! But this is where our story takes a little turn.
As is customary with all graduation shows, improvisers receive notes on their performance afterwards - what worked, what was unnecessary, and could be improved. During one such conversation with an individual, I dropped a quote from the film Empire Records. I couldn’t tell you which exact quote it was, but it might have been, “What’s with today, today?”, or “I don’t need to explain my art to you, Warren.”, or “I do not regret the things I have done, only the things I did not do.”, or “Empire Records, open ‘til midnight. … … … MIDNIGHT!”
It quickly became apparent that this younger improviser had never seen the film, heard of the film, nor knew the quote from whence it came. So when I joshingly relayed this information to the rest of the group, two things immediately happened: half of the group (including Kim) hailed Empire Records as one of their favorite films of all time, and the other half (having also never heard of it) expressed an overwhelming desire to watch it as soon as was possible.
So that’s what we did!
Now, was I blurring the line between teacher and students? Maybe. But I decided that this was no longer in the realm of impropriety as these fine folks were no longer students of mine, nor would they be as I wasn’t teaching any Level 2 classes at the time. Also, this was a group hang. Safety in numbers, right?
But it was at this Empire Records watch party where an important event took place.
At the time, Kim worked for an agency that represented Trojan Condoms, and was in need of volunteers to march in the 2019 Pride Parade to pass them out to the city of New York. She asked those of us in attendance if anyone would like to march with her and the rest of her agency. A few expressed interest, so I felt it safe to volunteer myself as well. But honestly, I was just looking for more reasons to hanging out with her as a) I was realizing the depth of our connection with each other, b) she was no longer a student of mine, and c) passing out condoms to New York City sounded awesome!
2019 Pride Parade
It would later be remarked that I’m the only man who could go to Pride and walk away with a girlfriend
The day of the Parade, no one from our Level 1 Improv Class showed up except for the two of us - which in retrospect, I think we both kind of secretly hoped for. We spent the day hanging back from the rest of the group and casually passed out condoms to the masses, but mostly just talked and really, really got to know each other on a deeper level. We talked about improv, politics, religion, movies, music, places we’ve lived, crazy stories, our families, books, cats, past relationships, and The Spice Girls. We discussed almost everything imaginable over the course of 6-7 hours.
And then it was time to part ways.
I had a class to go teach, while Kim had other responsibilities to take care of. But this time together genuinely proved that we were capable of producing so much more goodness in the world with each other than we ever could on our own. That 6-7 hour march through Manhattan under intense and extreme conditions would have destroyed any other two casual romantics, but to us, we were the only one’s there strolling through the city streets.
Cut to…
We were married on October 1st, 2021 inside the Central Park Boathouse to a crowd filled with friends, family, improvisers, celebrities, co-workers, musicians, and neighbors. And even though there wasn’t any improv per sé, there was many an improvised moment to be enjoyed!
Central Park Boathouse, Oct 1st, 2021
If you’re gonna dance… dance.
Neither one of us entered the world of improv looking for a romantic connection, but romantic connections happen when you’re least expecting them. We were both drawn to each other because of our life experiences, passion for exploration, whimsy for life, and of course…improv.
Similar in concept to being in a foxhole with someone, improv provides shared experiences for people where comfort levels are being tested. We grow together, triumph together, and make mistakes together (otherwise known as opportunities). We laugh together, we cry together, and most importantly…we have each others backs. So it’s no wonder to me why so many people who share a love for improv end up sharing a love for something else unexpected: each other.
Happy Valentines Day! Now go take an improv class!
